Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
