I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
