She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
