its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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