when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
