And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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