Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Plan B is the new Plan A
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
