Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
honey bunches of taint.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
