is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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