this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
