Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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