it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
