it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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