If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
