On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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