I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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