My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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