Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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