Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
