So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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