Where is the hickey?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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