Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
