fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize