so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
