Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
