Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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