i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
