420 ftw
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
