He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
