I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
