I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
