giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
