oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
