i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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