after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
