Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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