so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
