I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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