tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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