Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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