Non-Jews are for practice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
