I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
