The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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