So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
