That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
