Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
