I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
