i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
