You're so nebulous sometimes
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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