new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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