I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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