I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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