He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
