Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
