The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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