just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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