So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
