Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
