There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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