I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
