Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
